Man vs. Sleep: Who Wins?

My apologies for the lack of entries lately. Apparently I had the 'Man Flu' last week and had a hard time being inspired to write anything worth noting. But, enough of the excuses and here's the next entry.

It was a night like any other. Pam and I had gotten into bed at a decent time (before 9:30pm) and were having our nightly chat as we always do before falling asleep. I was very comfortable thinking that I was finally going to get a good night's rest. After discussing the days topics I turned the TV to the "Soundscapes" channel and rolled over. My arm curled around Pam's pregnant belly and we both quickly drifted off...

It was late...It felt like 2 in the morning maybe. We could hear the faint cry from Dougie coming from the monitor. It seemed he had lost his 'Ogg' which is his trusted friend and stuffed animal, the Frog. After a deep sigh, Pam slowly rolled out of bed. My head stayed resting on my pillow quickly starting to let my dreams whisk me away once more. My eyes shut...

A TERRIFYING SCREAM rings throughout the room. My head darts up and I sit up in bed. My heart is pounding. I could see Pam's silhouette at the end of our long master bedroom, just next to our master bathroom door and a few paces from the door to the office. Her image was dark, with an eerie blue hue forming around her from the night light in the little hallway there between our closets and the bathroom.

ANOTHER SCREAM. This time I saw it...Something was here that did not belong. It was too mammoth to be a moth. It whooshed by Pam's head. She ducked. The creature of the night squeaked and darted into the main part of the room. I jumped out of bed and kneeled behind the mattress as if I were avoiding cover fire from the enemy.

With the shadow of what appeared to be a six foot wing span swooping around the dark room Pam ran out to do her duty as a mother and make sure our son was okay. His cries were the reason we had been awoken in the first place. Our little furry friend was just an added bonus.

It turned out that Dougie's frog was simply next to him where he couldn't see it. Pam placed it in his hands and kissed him back to sleep returning quickly to the battle at hand. She made sure to keep the door between the bedroom and office shut. With her quick thinking she moved into the bathroom and grabbed the bottom piece of Dougie's Potty Trainer (it was clean since he rarely uses it. You can't rush boys you know!).

As she came back out of the bathroom she shut the door so we could trap it in the room. Except our room was rather big. Plenty of room for this devil to flap around and dive bomb us at any chance it got. Still behind the bed trying to think quickly I said, "Should I whack it with a pillow?" Pam, kneeling down low responded, "It's not a bug!!"

With pillow in hand and made a waving motion and realized Pam was right. This flimsy thing was not going to work against this beast. My eyes, adjusting to the darkness moved quickly to something near the TV. Thank you Dougie for playing with our mesh trash bin that we never use anymore. It was laying there dormant on it's side.

I inched my way over to it staying low and grabbed the bin. We needed to trap this thing. Meanwhile as I got closer to the task at hand Pam was taking mighty whacks with her small contraption trying to trap the monster. After a few swipes as it criss-crossed around the room she got a piece of it and it moved closer to the door. Again Pam got a handle on it as I moved closer and whacked it to the floor right next to the door. We got it...

I was too confident. Within seconds it wiggled UNDER the door and out into the office. This was about to get much more difficult for us if it made it into the main part of the house. Right behind Pam we inched out way out into the office. I shut the door behind us cutting off our pathway. All was quiet except for the quick beating of our hearts as the battle continued.

The shadow fluttered from the hallway into the office and then back into the hallway. We needed to trap it in the office or else the battle would be lost. Sneaking over to the door it darted back into the office. As it darted back toward the hall we cut off it's access and shut the door. We once again had it trapped.

Staying low we waited for it to move. It did. We both took ferocious swipes at the air trying to knock it down with out weapons. Several near misses. Then finally Pam gets her device on the mighty thing and stuns it. Another WHACK and Pam releases her weapon in the air. It catches the creature and both weapon and demon fall behind the TV laying on the floor.

We move in. The bat is stunned laying in the bottom of Dougie's Potty Trainer. Quick as a whip I slam my trash bin down on top of it trapping this thing that has disturbed our slumber. Keeping the bin tightly on top of the Potty I pick both up. The beast is furious...or scared I can't tell, but it lets out an awful screech.

Pam opens the door and we move down the stairs and into the kitchen, then out to the mudroom. I beckon Pam to open the sliding glass door. She does and flicks on the light outside. I look back and say, "Shut the door behind me..." It's up to me now to finish the job. The door shuts and all is silent in the woods around me except for the squeaks coming from the man made cage I hold in front of me.

I pull the two pieces apart and wait. It doesn't move. I shake the bin to try and force it out. It clings on. Several intense moments pass when I think I'm going to have to reach in there and pull it out. I didn't think to just leave the bin outside and walk away. Thankfully the time never came. Within a few seconds the creature of the night darts for freedom and flies away into the night.

The war is over. We won...Battle worn, and dripping with sweat Pam and I move back into the house and check for damages. We check every nook and cranny to make sure this was a one time incident and there would be no more disturbances that night.

Although it felt like an eternity, only 15 minutes had passed from the moment of those first screams of terror. Suffice it to say, it took us awhile to feel comfortable and drift back to sleep...There goes another good night's rest for us...