Do It Yourself: How To...

... Get Inspired to Clean the Underside of Your Fridge:

Step 1: Sit quietly enjoying a nice peaceful night of television with you lovely wife...

Step 2: Get annoyed that your dog won't leave you alone as you sit on the couch trying to have a peaceful night...

Step 3: After about an hour (10pm local time) realize your dog is sniffing for scraps of food that must have been dropped by your 2 and a half year old son...

Step 4: Reach under the couch and find none of said scraps of food...

Step 5: Annoyed further make a point to dog that no food exists under the couch by pulling the entire thing away from the wall in a big huff...

Step 6: Freeze in panic as you see two little black eyes staring back at you from under the heating vent behind the now pulled out couch...

Step 7: Freak out your wife by saying, "Oh shit!" and quickly putting couch back up against the wall...

Step 8: As panic builds look for something to trap said creature...

Step 9: Place one month old and dog in safe places as hell is about to be unleashed...

Step 10: Let the chase begin as you pull the couch back out and a Flying Squirrel dashes past you into the kitchen behind the refrigerator...

Step 11: Start to actually think logically about how the f*ck you're going to get this damn thing out of the house...

Step 12: Swear menacingly as you pull the fridge out and see the creature scurry under the fridge...

Step 13: Search the house for a flashlight to shine under the fridge hoping to scare the thing out from under it...

Step 14: Notice how f'ing dirty it is under the fridge with dust and clumps of dog hair...

Step 15: Get vacuum and have wife tip fridge to one side (note to take any thing off top of fridge to avoid breakage of said things first)...

Step 16: Vacuum up huge amounts of dog hair and dust that have collected since 2004 under the fridge...

Step 17: Notice squirrel is no longer under the fridge and panic as you realize it must have gotten trapped in the bottom part of the back of the fridge where the fan and other moving parts belong...

Step 18: Get out electric screw driver and unscrew back panel to fridge...

Step 19: Give BBQ tongs to wife to try and grab creature with them unsuccessfully...

Step 20: See creature retreat even further back into the back part of fridge and realize there is no way to get it out...

Step 21: Accept defeat and screw back on panel to the back of the fridge hoping said creature will eventually die and then will be able to dispose of body...

Step 22: Go to bed in annoyance...

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Additional 'Optional' Steps:

Step 23: Wake 2 hours later (12:30am local time) to wife waking up saying the squirrel just scurried across her back on the bed...

Step 24: Sleepily laugh off her fear as just a dream...

Step 25: See wife get up and head cautiously toward the end of the room only to screech again saying she was right and the squirrel was in their room...

Step 26: Wonder how the f*ck the thing got out and happened to make its way up to our bedroom of all places...

Step 27: Corner squirrel into the Office in the next room and stuff towels under the doors so there are no getaways...

Step 28: Try many many times to get it out from behind bookcase, computer, subwoofer, etc trying to trap it in a trash bin...

Step 29: Successfully watch wife scare it out of its hiding place while you trap the sucker in your trashcan...

Step 30: Wait for wife to get cardboard from garage to slide under trashcan creating a trap...

Step: 31: Carefully slide cardboard under trashcan and holding tightly to both...

Step 32: Hurry down the stairs and out the front door as your wife slams the door shut behind you leaving you on your front steps in just your boxers...

Step 33: Watch as you release menace into the wild cursing them all to hell as it scampers into the woods...

Step 34: Bang on front door notifying your wife it is okay to let you back in...

Step 35: Go back to bed wondering how the f*ck another creature of the night could not only get in our house, but make it way to our bedroom as the asinine time of night that it was...