Did/Do I Have a Split Personality?

I was trying to think of something random to blog about today when my good friend Liz suggested that I write about one of my favorite movies I had when I was a kid. Although, I am not going to take her idea and write about that subject, she is still brilliant for helping me come up with another tale.

To give you a little background about me I am a Gemini. I was born on May 31, 1981. I was actually due to enter the world on June 1, 1981, but decided to grace everyone with my presence a day early. My mum notes that I must have been impatient and have been ever since which may or may not be true!

Anyway, the definition of Gemini according to Wikipedia (the most accurate information site out there, let's face it) is that Gemini is the third astrological sign in the Zodiac, originating from the constellation of Gemini (also known as the 'Twins'). What the hell that means, well I have no idea, but the idea of "Twins" is a reference I want to focus on.

The 'Twins' of Gemini refer to several different things in astrology. Most notably in Greek mythology it refers to two actual twins, Apollo and Artemis, son and daughter to Zeus. But the reference to twins can also refer to one person or entity being with a 'twin' or duel personality.

A lot of people refer to us Gemini's as just that, someone who has two sides to them whether that is a good thing or bad thing. Sometimes I do wonder if I have a good and evil side to me, but I don't want to get too metaphorical in this blog. Instead I am going to focus on an actual split personality I had as a child.

It was a long time ago so the details are a little bit fuzzy. When I close my eyes and try to think of it I can see one main image in my head. It's a picture that my parents have in one of their albums my sister made them of us kids growing up.

Wait a second, this listening to Cranberries on my ipod while trying to visualize this is not working. I need to set the mood. Let's see here...Ah, the soundtrack to Shawshank Redemption should set the mood for me. Much better...

I was wearing a set of PJs...I know they had red in them, on the sleeves, and then white as well down the front. There was a picture of something...A cartoon? No...maybe it was a movie...it escapes me at the moment. All I know is it was a matching top and bottom pair...

I remember going into the Foyer (yes we were that special that we had a Foyer) closet. I would open the door and there they were. I can see them sitting there in the corner. Long brown boots and a matching brown hat. It was cowboy attire. I'm pretty sure the boots were mine, but I don't remember them fitting perfectly on me. I don't know if the hat also belonged to me or not, but I grabbed it anyway...

I think I had to go upstairs in my room or in the closet in the Family Room (which now is just a hole where my parents big wide screen TV is resting. I had a plastic gun holster belt and two sliver six-shooters. The paint was wearing off on the guns, but you could still cock them and pull the trigger to make a snapping noise. Actually, I think one was broken so the trigger just wiggled a little bit...

Once that belt was around my waste with boots and hat on I turned into a different person. And I don't mean just the "Oh look, he's pretending and playing dress-up, how cute!" kind of different. I mean I was actually a different person.

The reason I know this is for several reasons. For one, I never remember actually walking around in that ridiculous outfit, but I always remember putting it on and taking it off. Another reason is because of my name. When I was young everyone called me Niki for short. My family, friends, parents friend etc.

Eventually I got 'too cool for school' and dropped the last 'i' and went by Nik, but never when I was younger did I go by Nik. Except in this instance. And it wasn't just Nik that you had to call me, it was Cowboy Nik. That's right. Laugh all you want, but if you had tried to get my attention when I was in that getup I would simply ignore you. Just ask my mum's friend Jeanie. She knows...

I would strut into the kitchen making sure my heels clicked the ground first before my narrow-toed boots hit the linoleum. I would tip my cap to the ladies as I walked by. I didn't say much, maybe a "howdy ma'am" or something to that effect, but I moved like I was in the wild west looking for trouble at ever turn...

Except it wasn't the Wild West that I was from. Nope, I was Cowboy Nik from the Westside of Chicago. Had I ever been to Chicago or heard about it? Nope. But here I was, full character and everything ready and waiting to dispose of evil-doers...

I know you're thinking, 'But Nik, how do you know these details if you say you don't remember what you were doing while wearing that stuff?' Well, I'll tell you. Some of it is from first hand accounts from my parents and siblings. The other thing is I can picture it as if I were watching it happen. It's as if I were an invisible person in the room watching myself do these things. An onlooker if you will...

Was it a split personality? Maybe...It could have just been an active kids imagination as well. But being a Gemini is no coincidence. I don't believe in those anyway. If it wasn't just my wild imagination then what was it? And the biggest question is, where did Cowboy Nik from the Westside of Chicago go and will he ever return?

For your sake and mine, I hope not...